Win At Home is a series of opinion articles written by author and keynote speaker Willie Spears. Be sure to catch the Win At Home Podcast in January 2022 and order the Win at Home devotional for leaders now at www.williespears.com.
Parents are called to correct their children. The best way to do this is not with lashes or a lecture, but our life. More is caught than taught. Spankings without the right example or useless. Discipline comes from a disciplined lifestyle, a way of living.
Discipline is made up of four factors. The first step in discipline is teaching. As we discipline our children, we do not want to do it out of anger or frustration.
We want to teach them the right way to behave and tell them why. Because I said so is no longer adequate when explaining the purpose of the desired behavior.
The second factor is to reinforce. After we teach, we want to reinforce the correct behavior. To reinforce means to strengthen to fortify or uphold what we taught before. This factor helps us get our point across in a productive manner.
After we reinforce, we want to encourage, inspire, motivate, uplift and support. Children need our encouragement. To win at home and create a harmonious environment, we must promote and encourage good behavior.
Last week two different adults notified me that my son Kenneth had made a tremendous impact on their sons’ lives. These are two different families that are not connected.
They went out of their way to tell me that my son had brought their son joy. One child was new to the area, recently moving in from Dallas, Texas, and the other young man was homeschooled and did not have many friends.
Kenneth befriended them both and treated them like he treats several people. He has a gift of empathy, and he naturally makes people feel loved and important. I was one proud father.
I forwarded one text to my wife and told her about the other compliment as soon as it happened. We were two proud parents.
I am hard on Kenneth, but not as hard as my father was on me.
However, I try to discipline him with love and walk through those four factors when I correct him.
Discipline gives us identity and value.
Several teams I have coached craved discipline and many athletes did not respect adults who allowed them to get away with not doing things the right way.
The purpose of discipline is protection.
The motive of discipline is love.
The method of discipline is conviction and consequences.
The goal of discipline is righteousness.
I want my children to be just like Jesus, not just like me. A Jesus, Jr. is much better than a Willie, Jr.
Some of these thoughts came from a message by Pastor Wayne Asprodites.
Three ways to Win At Home:
1. Teach. Reinforce. Encourage. Correct.
2. Be a good example for your children.
3. Discipline out of love, not anger.